Many stories herein are subject to the faulty, and sometimes creative, memory of the blog owner and should not be taken as factual, although the names and events are real! Kind of.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Upon Spying a Tiny Pair of Sunglasses Amongst the China

Look!  Tiny spectacles amongst the china. And a candy kiss to!  Chocolate and red, two of my favorite things!  

Those tiny red glasses sent my imagination soaring--wouldn't the little Hummel wannabe boy look cuter in them?

And chicks--they dig red glasses, no?

Wonder if my mom has noticed this yet!  

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

From the Top Bunk

I'm once again at Falls Creek Church Camp cooking for hungry teenagers till my body is ready to collapse into bed at night.  We had a cooking staff change and I drew the top bunk this year. I haven't slept in a bunk bed since college and Not surprisingly, everyone's first thought is "will I fall off?"  There's other things to consider though.  

First gear up mentally and physically to hoist your body up that ladder.  1 X 4 boards don't look so thin. Remember when you were in third grade and you scampered up and down the ladder from a bunk bed?  Yeah, well, likely your body weight has changed since then and the pain can be torturous to aged feet. 

Then look at the spot on the bed that you will flop onto once you reach the top. If sadly this space has been filled  with things like your iPad, magazines and camp mail, there are two choices. Hang on by your elbows and attempt to clear a landing point or resign yourself to climbing back down to move stuff, knowing that you must go through the foot pain process again. 

Have supplies handy.  Getting a tissue or lip balm or taking that nightly bathroom break is not so easy.  Be willing to wake your lower bunk mate up if everyone has been so kind as to go to sleep with the light on. Unless of course you want to climb the ladder again.  

So really, falling out of bed while sleeping isn't that great of a concern.  Falling out of bed while trying to get down is.  

Monday, November 18, 2013

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

That moment when you come into your dark, empty (hopefully) house and you see a light in your bedroom. 

And you wonder if the murderer is hiding in there or if once again you forgot to turn off the closet light before leaving for work that morning. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

True Wardrobe Confessions

I did it.  Today I bought something I swore I never would.

I bought....Jeggings.  I used the self-check at Walmart and furtively hid them under the sweat pants that I was also purchasing.  Kind of like back when I was embarrassed to buy feminine products.  It's role reversal.  Used to hide those under a swimsuit.  Now I'd rather not let anyone know I'm purchasing anything like a swimsuit or jeggings so I tried pretended they were for my daughter.

Pitiful, I know.

I had a good reason actually for buying such a questionable (at my age and fitness level) item.  You see, awhile back I purchased an awesome shirt at a Real Women's Store downtown.  And it wasn't on sale. AND the name of the store did not end in Mart, nor did it contain the word thrift or discount.  Seriously, I'm getting wild in my old age.

So anyways, back to this awesome shirt.  It is a little past hip length and flares at the bottom and did not look good with my usual loose fit slacks(perhaps should insert here formally loose fit, but that leads down a whole other rabbit trail that involves Nutella and fear of sweat).  Then I saw some skinny girl wearing a shirt fashioned in the same manner and it was with leggings (jeggings, whatever) and boots and I had an epiphany:  I have a long shirt!   I have boots!  And those types of pants are cheap, cheap!  And then I can feel better about the money I spent on the shirt that I have now owned for two months and never worn!  And perhaps I could look just like that skinny girl???  or not.

So, reasoning and justification led me down the slippery slope of fashion to buying jeggings.

Will I wear them?  We will have to wait and see.  I don't drink so there will be no false courage when donning this outfit.  You've seen those women with such thin legs their leggings are loose on them?  That's probably not gonna be me.

The real problem with clothes is not the clothes themselves, but the body they must cover.  Fabric is a tad thinner than it used to be, so then the clothes must be a tad looser but unfortunately fashion seems to dictate 'fitted.'

You know that story The Saggy Baggy Elephant?  I don't really recall the story line but the title seems to say it all.  I try to remind myself to check the back view before leaving the house but sometimes I'm in WalMart walking behind someone and wonder if they know they look like that and then I remember I didn't look in the mirror very well myself that morning.  Things aren't where they used to be if you know what I mean.

So on that uplifting note, let's talk swimsuits.  It's not swimsuit season but aren't they the worst things to buy?  (worse than jeggings!)  In 28 (blissful) years of marriage, I've purchased maybe five swimsuits.  The last one was for a family beach trip to San Diego where thankfully the ocean was too cold for swimming. In spite of being well traveled, that costly item of apparel has only been worn 3 times. It usually goes on vacation with us, but seldom sees the light of day.  Or the chlorine in the pool, or the salt in the ocean if you get my drift.  (Ooo! another water reference!)  It is going to rot in the dark before it gets worn out from wearing!

When trying on a swimsuit, I don't want a three way mirror around.  Or glasses.  Or an audience.  Beyond checking that everything that needs to be covered is covered, the mirror view is avoided.  I try to comfort myself with Parade and National Enquirer and all those other higher thinking pieces of newsprint at the checkout counter that show Hollywood type people frolicking around the Riviera and such places in their Speedos and bikinis and it turns out that even some of those thin ones should not be wearing so little in public.  If only the dressing rooms could be papered with a few of those?

Perhaps one day, I'll post a selfie on Facebook wearing my new outfit.  Hopefully before it's not really new anymore.  And before the elastic wears out of the pants(jeggings!) from age.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Beyond the Door

I lie in my bed and talk to You.  But my mind wanders.  As I pray, thoughts distract me.

I see canvas all around me.    Am I surrounded with curtains?  Or I am in a tent?
Far above my head is an ornate brass pull.  If I can only reach high enough to pull it, what will be revealed?

Would it be the vast inky blackness of the night sky, studded with glittering stars
The infinite forever of the universe.  Will the darkness still hide You from me?  Or will I hide in it?

Or would I find the rolling ocean, whose depths hide wonders that man has never seen?  Would it be the froth and roll of the tides and waves, occasionally spitting out a glimpse of You, but shielding the true wonder that You are far beneath the foamy green depths?

Beyond the canvas door would there be endless rolling plains of golden grass, waving in the wind, calling me to step boldly into the unknown?

What will I find if I leave the safety of my tent?

You are calling me to come explore Your glory, beckoning for me to leave the safety of this canvas cocoon I have built around myself and telling me I have enough faith and enough bravery to explore the world because You are always with me.

Could the universe light up with flashes of light--shooting stars, fiery comets and planets in motion, reflecting the glory of You?

Can the sea become as still as glass, allowing me dive into its depths and explore the green water and see the vastness of Your love?

Can I leave the tent behind and stride into the great and endless expanse of grass, relying on You for safety on my journey--following to find, just over the hill, green treetops that indicate refreshing cool water, where I can linger and rest with You?

Give me courage as I gaze into the night sky, when I plunge into the ocean sea and as I wander on the endless plains.

Give me the courage to know that You are there, out of sight, but still beside me, encouraging me to leave my safe nest, to pull the curtains back, to reveal the vast, infinite glory that awaits.

One Last Thought.......

Pleasant words are a honeycomb;
sweet to the soul and healing to the body.
Proverbs 16: